am i even here
Jan. 10th, 2025 08:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wachtmuziekno one cares at all . im actually sitting here crying and no one has loooked me once , i swear im invisible .
would anyone care if i was gone . if i died tonight would anyone be worried why im not at school . i highly doubt it . why is he still with him . why are they still together and hanging out like nothings happened. "im not saying you have to be friends with them . do you NOT care ???? they have hurt me , mistreated me , manipulated me . i obviously dont wanna hangout with them . and idont you to either . cant you understand . YOUR actions hurt . they hurt a ton . they hurt so much im crying and im worried that no one even tolerates me anymore . everyone leaves and its alll my fault , every single time . whenever i get blocked , whenever someone stops talking to me its because my standards are too high or something . i just want to be treated like a person . and have someone that cares . SOMEONE . at this ppoint the someone who might care a little is mrs franks and my mom and even then its not like they care enough to notice im BEGIGNG for help . its like my first hour teacher has been purposely ignoring me . everytime he walks by me he looks the opposite direction . i probably already mentioned this but he was looking RIGHT at me . what do i have to do to be found . what do i have to do to be noticed . be normal ???? i wixh i was normal i wish i was like every other kid thats NORMAL . kids who never have issues because theu have caring friends , and a caring rrich family . live a normal life with minimal issues . like i said i dont believe im living in real life on earth because no one even bats an eye at me and if they do theyre seeing right through me . and not me . im writing this as the teacher as walka by looking at the other side of the room . not even TWO feet awat from me and i go unnotinced . my sui ideation is so bad right now. i wanna die , i want to be gone ,im already basically gone ,,, what owuld be the difference if im actually gone . if i actualy disappeared .
i want to disappear
would anyone care if i was gone . if i died tonight would anyone be worried why im not at school . i highly doubt it . why is he still with him . why are they still together and hanging out like nothings happened. "im not saying you have to be friends with them . do you NOT care ???? they have hurt me , mistreated me , manipulated me . i obviously dont wanna hangout with them . and idont you to either . cant you understand . YOUR actions hurt . they hurt a ton . they hurt so much im crying and im worried that no one even tolerates me anymore . everyone leaves and its alll my fault , every single time . whenever i get blocked , whenever someone stops talking to me its because my standards are too high or something . i just want to be treated like a person . and have someone that cares . SOMEONE . at this ppoint the someone who might care a little is mrs franks and my mom and even then its not like they care enough to notice im BEGIGNG for help . its like my first hour teacher has been purposely ignoring me . everytime he walks by me he looks the opposite direction . i probably already mentioned this but he was looking RIGHT at me . what do i have to do to be found . what do i have to do to be noticed . be normal ???? i wixh i was normal i wish i was like every other kid thats NORMAL . kids who never have issues because theu have caring friends , and a caring rrich family . live a normal life with minimal issues . like i said i dont believe im living in real life on earth because no one even bats an eye at me and if they do theyre seeing right through me . and not me . im writing this as the teacher as walka by looking at the other side of the room . not even TWO feet awat from me and i go unnotinced . my sui ideation is so bad right now. i wanna die , i want to be gone ,im already basically gone ,,, what owuld be the difference if im actually gone . if i actualy disappeared .
i want to disappear
